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woodgrainthing

by James Christie Brown

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1.
I’m a little more passionate than you see I can keep a little hidden inside of me and I will always be this way It’s a wood grain thing It’s tight and thin Somewhere within All these fragile things It comes with age Like a dog eared page But it seems to frame These God sent days I’m a little more passionate than you see I can keep a little hidden inside of me and I will always be this way It’s like a dry stonewall It’s old and small But it’s lining all These fields we walk It’s like a favourite place That you always praise Somehow it remains Within you, but anyway I’m a little more passionate than you see I can keep a little hidden inside of me and I will always be this way It’s like a little box That you don’t what’s Beneath its top So we’ll wait and watch I’m a little more passionate than you see I can keep a little hidden inside of me and I will always be this way
2.
From Inside 05:36
Here I stand and watch the lightning from inside Hear the rain, I hear thunder grumble sometimes Waiting on a starless sky I am wasting moments, wasting wondrous time With the window open I can smell the wet air Hear the rain arrive from way up there Waiting on a starless sky I am wasting moments, wasting wondrous time Songs are never written I daylight, I find Eating into sleeping hours I hold tight Waiting on a word to write I am wasting moments, wasting wondrous time
3.
Free as a rope swing in the summer Like a kite I chase the wind Without you, without you Without you, without you Free as a tawny owl in the night time Like the moon I am just watching Strange to see you again, so strange to see you Free as a ripple in the ocean Like a wave I carry on Free as a hole in my trouser pocket Like the coin I am anyone’s Without you, without you Without you, without you Free as an autumn leaf in the autumn Like the ground I carry on Strange to see you again, so strange to see you When there’s a depth, a strain, an intrigue.
4.
Sarah 05:01
Sarah, darling I’ll remember you with fondness and pride You’re special to me, treasured even, but you're not quite mine We were so slow to go It hurts a little deep inside, a little deep underground With these roots being intertwined and grown around We were so slow to go We took a long time to take our bow You’ll be a long time fading out It’s not an easy choice to make when it’s nicer to stay We lingered, we were clutching fingers as we walked away It was so hard to leave I’m strangely proud of the pain we’re feeling now There’s something to commemorate, it feels good somehow We were so slow to know We took a long time to take our bow You’ll be a long time fading out
5.
I remember it with unnerving clarity I hold dearly the way you held me A simple phone call was the way that it dawned ‘Have you heard the news, James, at all?’ A heart beat heavy as another stopped I stood in the kitchen with the ticking clock The normal daylight came through the normal window But what about a second on the list at 17 though? I broke my lead on this one I would hold it back, I would hold it back I tried but I couldn’t listen To ‘The Local Boy in The Photograph’
6.
Candle glowing sticky ochre flame clings to The fingers of a man sitting silently He is strangely aware of his hands and face He has held them close together these past days All he can hear, is his own breath Ringing out clear In the cold air, alone in this house He sits on the stairs He’s sad in his heart, he’s sad in his soul, For missing his darling so The stones of the church wall have seen him when he Has been most joyful and when he’s been most real Most like he’s free, and most ambitious and Most close to tears, or with an Excitement like he is dancing on the inside And he now is… Sad in his heart, he’s sad in his soul, For missing his darling so He misses her laughter, her smile and her smell, The way she would sit and the way she would tell Him she loved him His mind and his candle flame are all he knows But there’s more than this slow, clumsy amber glow, The one he has loved throughout his life Sits with him now, without his wife She’s gone, now, to heaven, she’s gone to the grave And he’s praising the Lord her soul was saved! Sad in his heart, he’s sad in his soul, For missing his darling so He misses her laughter, her smile and her smell, The way she would sit and the way she would tell Him she loved him I’ll miss you I’ll miss you, darling o darling I’ll miss you now I’m gone
7.
We lie, we give, we try, we live, we wait like a seed we’ll never sow But hope is like a firefly that’s lights up a single spot on the darkest night Oh, I love mysterious and serious but the tediousness cuts us both So we stay, we go, we wait, we know we’ll join like raindrops on a windowpane Wait a little more I’d say Wait a little more Like it snowed but never settled was the way we’d spend our time, forgettable, But then the fireflies, the sky alive, it was a brandy night We had a wooden seat and underneath the teak trees, oh we had our time To unravel all, and travel on, and find that the path unfurled from its start early on Wait a little more I’d say Wait a little more
8.
You know, my God doesn’t fit into the boxes I make, but he’s God and I’m not, And he does not play by the rules in my head, but he’s God and I’m not. “You let me down”, says a woman of forty five Dying on her hospital bed, with tears and anger in her eyes “You let me down, you let me drown like a stone With no grandchildren but this cancer in my bones.” You know, my God doesn’t fit into the boxes I make, but he’s God and I’m not, And he does not play by the rules in my head, but he’s God and I’m not. “I am dying son so I guess that proves your God was never there” The letter read, as it leaves the boy confused and he says, “I prayed for you, ‘cause God loves you too and I think he’d want You to go to heaven now but I’m afraid that I think you're not, but You know, my God doesn’t fit into the boxes I make, but he’s God and I’m not, And he does not play by the rules in my head, but he’s God and I’m not.” It seems just like an excuse or self-defence, A consolation, despite the evidence. But if love is blind then I’m happy to be led And its not denial, no, but its faith and hope instead. And with her dying breath she feels the fear of the dead end of her life So she asks God, “can I come to heaven although I’ve denied You my whole life? I’d be surprised ‘cause now I’m useless!” And the greatest mystery of all is God says “yes” You know, my God doesn’t fit into the boxes I make, but he’s God and I’m not, And he does not play by the rules in my head, but he’s God and I’m not.”

about

A whispery album recorded on garageband in 2009. Here is a selection of the survivors.

credits

released August 12, 2013

Laura Gullan plays cello on 'I Broke My Lead on This'.

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James Christie Brown Harpenden, UK

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